I Want a Record Deal!! What do I do?

You are sitting in a coffee shop humming a tune, and some middle-aged guy with sunglasses worth more than your car will approach you.   Do you sing?  He asks.  I thought I heard you singing something to yourself.  "Why yes!" you reply.  I have always dreamed of being a performer.  He loves your voice, and in fact, he offers you a record deal.  This record deal means that his record company will find songwriters to help you write songs, and they will record you a debut album.  Not only that, but they will give you voice lessons to help you improve, but give you a complete makeover as well so that you look the part.  You will look and sound like a pop star!  You have been DISCOVERED!

And then, you wake up.  

This never. ever. happens.  Wait....no, not even in your wildest dreams.  If you have heard that this has happened to your dogsitters friend's niece's daughter, then the story was probably exaggerated and contrived.  The business just does not work like this.  If this does happen to you, you might want to be very, very suspicious, or just straight up ask your "record label scout" what their offer costs (and some of these offers are legit by the way, others are not.  Do your homework.)  

The cold hard truth:  People who are offered "record deals" are usually not the people desperately searching for them.  The people who I know who have been signed already have a CD, songs, gigs, an established sound, 100,000 myspace friends, etc.  The people that I know who have been signed are already making a living at their craft!  Sad, but true.  No record label has the time or money to pluck you out of total obscurity and turn you into a star.  It is just too risky.  It costs too much.  A record label exec has told me of the exorbitant amount of money it costs to break an artist.  Meaning: If they are going to find songs for you, record an album, advertise that album, and distribute that album, get you sounding good, looking good, etc. might cost them at best, half a million dollars, or more.  Do you think they want to take that kind of risk on someone with no fans? No songs?  No gigs?  If you can't get your local bar or coffee shop to have you perform, how are you going to sell out a stadium, or even a House of Blues for that matter?  Why would a record label spend half a million dollars on you, if the local bar won't even give you the mic for a night?

The good news:  The power is in your hands.  Stop waiting for someone to come in and sweep you off your feet and discover you.  Get off your backside and get your career started.  No one will do you this for you.  You must do it for yourself.  

First plan:  Get songs.  You need your own songs.  There is not much demand for karaoke singers.  You may end up with professional songwriters at your disposal, but for now, come up with your own material.  There are a lot of songwriters out there who would willingly team up with artists and have their material advertised.  Team up  with local talent, other people trying to get their career going.  Or learn how to start writing your own stuff.  

Second plan:  Figure out how to easily perform you songs.  Accompany yourself or put together a band.  The simpler the better.  If you are a singer, and you are instrumentally challenged, and you need a guitar player to play your songs, then find someone, but stay away from getting together too big of a band.  It is overkill, and at first, it will slow you down.   You need an easy, simple way of performing your songs at small venues.  A band of ten members including a harmonica player and cowbell virtuoso are just going to slow you down and create band drama.  You do not need band drama.  Keep it as simple as possible, yet stay true to your sound and vision.  

Third plan:  No one will hire you for a gig?  Start playing at open mic nights.  It is the easiest and fastest way to get gigs.  Get to know the coffeehouse/bar managers/owners.  Become a regular and get asked back to perform your own set.  If you have been performing at open mic nights for six months or more and you have never been asked to come back and perform more or to do a gig, you may want to look at your material or performance.  If you are good, they will want you back.  If you are not getting asked back, go talk to a vocal coach and get an honest opinion on your music.  Ask your friends for their honest feedback.  

Fourth plan:  Record an EP.  Put down five songs on CD that reflect your sound.  Do not spend an exorbitant amount of money on this project.   Do spend the most you can and make it sound professional.  Do spend more money on making it sound good than having a million tracks/instruments.  It is better to have a recording of acoustic guitar and vocals that sounds top notch than violin, drums, bass, ukelele, harmonica, and keyboards that sounds like you recorded it in your neighbor's garage.   Make it simple, but show off your sound.  Make your rock-solid songwriting the central theme.  Reproduce this CD with some solid photography/label (with your contact information on the actual CD, not the case) and sell it at your gigs for $5.  Give it away to people who might be able to help you, or work with you. Chalk up the cost to advertisement.  Be prepared to think these songs are total crap in two years, chalk that up to how much you've improved.  

Make your presence known on the internet.  Set up your music on social networking sites, etc. Let everyone know what you do.  Advertise your gigs, sell your music online.  

My advice:  Get a calendar.  Return phone calls.  Show up on time.  Be a person of your word.  Very few musicians do these four things.  Many are unreliable, irresponsible, and blow their best opportunities.  If you can't be the best, then be the best to work with.  Once you have proven your talent you might get away with being a diva or a pompous jerk, but until then, you will only put your dreams further out of reach.  

Once you have done all this, relax that you are forging your own future and not waiting for the stars to align and give you some big break.  If you really are good, and you work hard, and have 50,000 downloads on myspace, some label will come knocking.  At that point, you will wonder whether you want to "sell out" to some label or stay independent and do it on your own.  At this juncture, you will have spent your own money and sweat to make your career happen, and you may not want to share the proceeds.  You will weigh what a label will really do for you.  Then smile and realize that you have arrived.