Help! My child loves music and sings all the time, I am the most unmusical person on earth, what should I do for my young student?

This is a question that parents ask me on a weekly basis.  Two unmusical parents have no idea what to do with their young child that sings constantly and loves music!  They want to guide their child and give them every opportunity.  My husband and I are professional musicians, and here is what we would do for our own kid.  By the way, my parents are not the most musical either, and I found my own way.   If you don't do everything perfectly, it is okay.  Do what you can.

1.  Start piano lessons.  I have written another blog on why I, as a voice teacher, highly recommend piano for all young students.  You can read it below.  If you do nothing else, start a combo singing/piano lesson for your child with a knowledgeable teacher.  This is the most important thing you could do for your elementary age student.  If you do nothing else, start a 30 minute piano lesson once a week.  Practice five to ten minutes a day.  

2.  Join choir at church or school.  This education is usually free, and can teach your child how to better read and understand music, expose your child to different types of music, and improve their ability to sing with others in unison and in parts.  Many churches no longer have children's choirs, but the church where I am a music director, La Jolla Presbyterian, has a wonderful children's choir program.   Singing in a choir also gives your young student more performance experience.

3.  Perform at recitals and talent shows and local competitions.  The earlier you start your young student performing, the less likely they will have a case of terrifying stage fright as they get older.  Performance takes practice.  My students who have been through five recitals in the last two or three years are markedly, noticeably better than the rookies.  Give your child a chance to build their on-stage resume, and improve their talent.  Performance is confidence-building, and it allows your young student to face and overcome their nervousness and fears.  

4.  Get involved in children's theater.  Performing in local children's theater can be a fabulous educational experience for young children.   It teaches them the ups and downs of auditions, how to put together a scene and work together, and the rewards of performance after working hard.  

5.  Expose your child to different types of music.  Buy a classical or ethnic music CD.   Take your child to see a professional show or symphony.  Listen to the music first, so that it is familiar to them.  Children often think that they don't like something that is simply unfamiliar.  Once it becomes familiar, they like it.  Have them listen to jazz, classical, latin, bluegrass, or anything else that they might not be normally exposed to.  Heightening their sensory experience with music will open up their own personal potential.   Use music to signify different daily rituals. Play soothing classical music during rest times, and upbeat music while doing chores.  Find music to celebrate different times of the year, holidays, or to commemorate special events.   Make up songs about anything that is happening around you.  

6.  Learn to participate in music yourself.  If you show self-consciousness about participating in music your child will pick up on that.  Even if you don't consider yourself a considerable talent, learn to sing, make up silly songs, or play a simple instrument (tambourine or shaker works just fine!).  Your child learns best from you, so if you show the willingness to participate without embarassment, your child will too.  Our culture has made us judge musical talent quite harshly.  American idol has all made us mentally put ourselves in front of Simon every time we try and do something musical.   It does not need to be this way.  You are not auditioning to sing on national television.  Everyone can participate with music in some way.  It is not a crime to sing or play and not be a talented virtuoso.  That is how you learn.  If your child never has the confidence to try and sing or play, they will never learn.  If they see you trying, they will try too.  

7.  Let them build their confidence through music.  Any child can learn to have music proficiency, and if you encourage them to learn and practice, they will feel pride in their accomplishments.  It will also strengthen their performance in school and set them up for music appreciation and involvement for their whole life.  

The Top 10 Most Common Vocal Problems Among Singers

1.  Pitch Inaccuracy.  If you do not have pitch accuracy, read no further.  It is the most important thing for a singer to attain.  You might have beautiful tone, perfect breathing, strong projection, and a great sound, but if you perpetually sing flat or miss notes, none of that other stuff matters.  Fix your pitch first.  Pitches have a range.  You may be singing the right note, but you are not hitting the pitch in the dead center every time.  In order to sound in tune, you have to sing the pitch extremely accurately.  No scooping, no guessing.  If this is a problem for you, fix your pitch first before focusing on anything else.  

2.  Incorrect Breathing.  Sound is created by breath moving through your vocal chords.  Learning how to correctly breathe can protect your voice from damage, strengthen your volume, improve your tone, and give you more control.  

3.  Tension in your throat.  If your voice is sound strained or thin, your throat is not open and relaxed.  Many singers that do not breathe correctly overcompensate by using their throat muscles instead of their diaphragm.  This can be a disastrous problem that could lead to severe vocal damage.  If you feel like you are straining, you probably are.   If your veins are popping out, and your face is red when you hit big notes, that is a problem.  

4.  Nasal.  This is a complex issue that I cannot totally go into here.  Unless you are a musical theater singer with a very forward sound, check the amount of air coming through your nose by plugging it and singing.  If you sound somewhat normal, than it is probably not a big issue.  If you sound ridiculous, then take note of how much air is coming through your nose.  You are probably singing nasal.  Try plugging your nose and sending the air through your mouth, if you can sound pretty good with your nose plugged, than unplug it and work on opening your mouth more and opening your throat.

5.  No volume.  If you can't sing out and project, first learn how to correctly breathe.  Then think of breathing in as much air as possible, and then using your diaphragm and lower stomach and back muscles to push the air through with more strength and speed.  

6.  Strident tone.  This is when the voice sounds harsh, not warm and resonant.  Think of taking deep breaths and fogging a mirror as you sing.  Use your breath to warm the tone.  Keep the throat open and relaxed.  

7.  Tense Jaw.  When you sing, you hold vowels.  When you are holding out a note, look at how open your mouth is.  I am not talking about it being open like a smile, but space between your teeth.  As a rule of thumb, put a finger width of space in between your teeth.  That should be a minimum amount of space for a full sound.  If you are singing an Ahh vowel, you should have two finger widths of space in between your teeth.  If you are blessed with large teeth and a big smile, guess what, you have to open even more.

8.  Dropping off of consonants.  When you sing, you should enunciate your consonants with clarity.  You do not need to over emphasize them unless you are an opera or musical theater singer.  Pop and Rock singers do need to make sure they are not dropping off the ends of their words.  

9.  Singing when your voice is hoarse.  If you always rest your voice when your voice is scratchy or hoarse, then you will minimize the risk of damage.  When you overuse your voice, your vocal folds may get a little tough spot on them like a callous.  This little callous prevents your vocal folds from closing completely and will make your voice sound hoarse and airy.  If you rest your voice, that little tough spot will go away.  If you continue to sing, talk, and use your voice, that callous won't go away.  You risk making that growth permanent.  Many students have said to me that their voice is just naturally hoarse.  Not so.  A scratchy voice is always a sign of some vocal damage.  

10.  Not showing enough emotion with their voice.  Good technique will only take you so far.  If you have perfect technique but you lack passion and emotion in your voice, your perfect technique will not matter.  Care about what you are singing.  Remember that first and foremost, singing is communication.   In order to effectively communicate, make sure that you have studied and you understand your character, lyrics, and mood of your song.  Whenever your perform, know your purpose.  Understand what you are there to communicate.  

I Want a Record Deal!! What do I do?

You are sitting in a coffee shop humming a tune, and some middle-aged guy with sunglasses worth more than your car will approach you.   Do you sing?  He asks.  I thought I heard you singing something to yourself.  "Why yes!" you reply.  I have always dreamed of being a performer.  He loves your voice, and in fact, he offers you a record deal.  This record deal means that his record company will find songwriters to help you write songs, and they will record you a debut album.  Not only that, but they will give you voice lessons to help you improve, but give you a complete makeover as well so that you look the part.  You will look and sound like a pop star!  You have been DISCOVERED!

And then, you wake up.  

This never. ever. happens.  Wait....no, not even in your wildest dreams.  If you have heard that this has happened to your dogsitters friend's niece's daughter, then the story was probably exaggerated and contrived.  The business just does not work like this.  If this does happen to you, you might want to be very, very suspicious, or just straight up ask your "record label scout" what their offer costs (and some of these offers are legit by the way, others are not.  Do your homework.)  

The cold hard truth:  People who are offered "record deals" are usually not the people desperately searching for them.  The people who I know who have been signed already have a CD, songs, gigs, an established sound, 100,000 myspace friends, etc.  The people that I know who have been signed are already making a living at their craft!  Sad, but true.  No record label has the time or money to pluck you out of total obscurity and turn you into a star.  It is just too risky.  It costs too much.  A record label exec has told me of the exorbitant amount of money it costs to break an artist.  Meaning: If they are going to find songs for you, record an album, advertise that album, and distribute that album, get you sounding good, looking good, etc. might cost them at best, half a million dollars, or more.  Do you think they want to take that kind of risk on someone with no fans? No songs?  No gigs?  If you can't get your local bar or coffee shop to have you perform, how are you going to sell out a stadium, or even a House of Blues for that matter?  Why would a record label spend half a million dollars on you, if the local bar won't even give you the mic for a night?

The good news:  The power is in your hands.  Stop waiting for someone to come in and sweep you off your feet and discover you.  Get off your backside and get your career started.  No one will do you this for you.  You must do it for yourself.  

First plan:  Get songs.  You need your own songs.  There is not much demand for karaoke singers.  You may end up with professional songwriters at your disposal, but for now, come up with your own material.  There are a lot of songwriters out there who would willingly team up with artists and have their material advertised.  Team up  with local talent, other people trying to get their career going.  Or learn how to start writing your own stuff.  

Second plan:  Figure out how to easily perform you songs.  Accompany yourself or put together a band.  The simpler the better.  If you are a singer, and you are instrumentally challenged, and you need a guitar player to play your songs, then find someone, but stay away from getting together too big of a band.  It is overkill, and at first, it will slow you down.   You need an easy, simple way of performing your songs at small venues.  A band of ten members including a harmonica player and cowbell virtuoso are just going to slow you down and create band drama.  You do not need band drama.  Keep it as simple as possible, yet stay true to your sound and vision.  

Third plan:  No one will hire you for a gig?  Start playing at open mic nights.  It is the easiest and fastest way to get gigs.  Get to know the coffeehouse/bar managers/owners.  Become a regular and get asked back to perform your own set.  If you have been performing at open mic nights for six months or more and you have never been asked to come back and perform more or to do a gig, you may want to look at your material or performance.  If you are good, they will want you back.  If you are not getting asked back, go talk to a vocal coach and get an honest opinion on your music.  Ask your friends for their honest feedback.  

Fourth plan:  Record an EP.  Put down five songs on CD that reflect your sound.  Do not spend an exorbitant amount of money on this project.   Do spend the most you can and make it sound professional.  Do spend more money on making it sound good than having a million tracks/instruments.  It is better to have a recording of acoustic guitar and vocals that sounds top notch than violin, drums, bass, ukelele, harmonica, and keyboards that sounds like you recorded it in your neighbor's garage.   Make it simple, but show off your sound.  Make your rock-solid songwriting the central theme.  Reproduce this CD with some solid photography/label (with your contact information on the actual CD, not the case) and sell it at your gigs for $5.  Give it away to people who might be able to help you, or work with you. Chalk up the cost to advertisement.  Be prepared to think these songs are total crap in two years, chalk that up to how much you've improved.  

Make your presence known on the internet.  Set up your music on social networking sites, etc. Let everyone know what you do.  Advertise your gigs, sell your music online.  

My advice:  Get a calendar.  Return phone calls.  Show up on time.  Be a person of your word.  Very few musicians do these four things.  Many are unreliable, irresponsible, and blow their best opportunities.  If you can't be the best, then be the best to work with.  Once you have proven your talent you might get away with being a diva or a pompous jerk, but until then, you will only put your dreams further out of reach.  

Once you have done all this, relax that you are forging your own future and not waiting for the stars to align and give you some big break.  If you really are good, and you work hard, and have 50,000 downloads on myspace, some label will come knocking.  At that point, you will wonder whether you want to "sell out" to some label or stay independent and do it on your own.  At this juncture, you will have spent your own money and sweat to make your career happen, and you may not want to share the proceeds.  You will weigh what a label will really do for you.  Then smile and realize that you have arrived.  

Practice Practice Practice.

How do you practice?

Practice often.  Practice consistently.  It less important how long you practice and more important how often you practice.

For piano:  Sit down and play through your assigned songs twice per day.  Set up a schedule for yourself or your child.  For instance, have them play through their songs right after school, and right after dinner.  If you get in the habit of doing it, and having it be quick, it is not so daunting.  If you do that for two five-minute increments per day, that is 70 minutes a week. That is plenty for a beginning piano student and will give you all the results you desire for your child.  We live in a busy world.  Don't set unreasonable goals.  Everybody has five minutes. Don't wait two or three days before practicing after the lesson.  The student can no longer remember how the song goes or what they are supposed to do, and it is frustrating.  If you have to miss a couple of days, miss it after a couple days of practice, not right after the lesson.  

Little known fact:  When you practice piano, it seems easy.  When you don't, you return to your lesson and your child feels confused and overwhelmed.  Most students would not feel this way with a minimal amount of practice.  A small amount of practice builds confidence.

For voice:  Put your vocal scales and vocal exercises on a tape or CD and practice them at least three times a week.  Exercising your voice is the same as exercising your body.  Would you expect to get into shape with a workout once a week?  It would be better than nothing, but would not really produce results.  

After doing scales, practice singing through your songs that you are working on in your lesson, thinking about what you are supposed to improve upon.  

If you are at a loss for what you are supposed to practice, then just sing!  It is a novel concept, but singing even with no particular purpose can actually still help you improve.  

Once you are familiar with your vocal exercises it is okay to do them while doing something else.  Put your CD player or tape recorder of vocal exercises in the bathroom and sing in the shower.  Put them in your car and sing while you drive to work (sitting up straight, of course.)

In our busy world, some practice is better than nothing.  It is okay to multi-task.  If you set up a routine you will be more likely to actually do it.  

Children who practice with parents help are more effective at practice..  Work with your child.  Ask to hear their song, or help them with what they are working on.  Don't try to tell them how to do it, just listen and encourage them.  Let them know you support them and that you care.   Sending them to their room to practice all alone is less effective.  Be interactive.  At the end of the week, ask to hear what they have been working on.  If they are having trouble try to help, and if you can't, don't let a week be wasted and call your music teacher and find out the answer.  

Why is a voice teacher recommending piano?

In my opinion, Piano is the absolute best musical discipline for children and teens to study. Hands down.  No question.  Without a doubt.

I recommend that all of my students (especially young children) study piano for a portion of their lesson.  Even ten minutes can produce great results.  Here is what I know:  My students who study piano have better pitch, rhythm, and and general musical sense than those who do not. My students who study piano from a young age can actually hear things that other students cannot.  They can hear chords changes, harmony notes, rhythmic changes that other children cannot comprehend.  Studying piano increases their musical vocabulary and ability to speak the musical language.  As I have said before, the younger the better.  Five and six is a pivotal age, prior to ten is crucial, as soon as a child is a pre-teen or a teenage all is not lost, but their capacity to improve their musical potential has diminished greatly (better late than never.)   There is something so important about actually having to maintain consistency rhythmically with their fingers, and recognize when they hit the wrong pitch.  It gives young children greater pitch accuracy when they sing.  My singers who have studied piano not only can match pitch, but they can hold pitch acapella and with accompaniment CD's from a young age.   They can follow a consistent rhythm and hear if a note someone sings is sharp or flat.   They can harmonize and follow live musicians.

I absolutely love teaching voice, and I love teaching voice to young children.  I love that so many children are interested in singing.  However, I use it as a gateway to teaching them an instrument.  I use singing to capture their interest and try to encourage them to sing and play.   I do not do this because I have a great love of piano.  In fact, I am not a fabulous pianist, but I love singing.  I teach what I wish I would have been taught.  I am telling you what I would recommend for my own child.  I teach piano because the results are undeniable.  A student prior to ten years old can take a year or two of voice only, or six months of voice and piano and they are farther than the student who has studied only voice for twice as long.   

I happen to prefer the piano as an easy instrument for children and for young fingers, however, I have also seen wonderful results with suzuki violin at a young age and even guitar.  However, in my opinion piano is easier and more accessible.  Piano is a gateway to learning the musical language that can be translated to any instrument later in life.  

Do you have to have a full piano?

Absolutely not.  Just start on something.  Go to your local box store and get a keyboard for under $100.  It doesn't have to have all the high notes and low notes, but it does have to have actual keys that are regular sized.  Baby keyboards where the actual keys are miniature do not work.  If you have the budget get a keyboard with the full 88 keys and get them weighted.  It will feel more like a real piano and train their little finger muscles accordingly.  

Does your young singer love Hannah Montana and High School Musical?  Do they lock themselves in their room singing and performing?  Do they dream of being the next big star? My advice:  start lessons with a good teacher who knows how to capture their interest in singing and can help them develop their talent and potential with learning an instrument.  Do NOT do only singing lessons.  Do a combo.

How important is practice?

Paying for lessons without practicing is like paying for sessions with a personal trainer and never ever working out outside of the appointments.  It becomes an expensive way to go, with less results.  Want to double your money?  Sit down with your student 5-10 minutes a day and help them play through their songs.  Consistency is the important thing.  It is better to practice for five minutes twice a day than to practice for an hour only once a week.  I find that students who practice with a parent do much better than students who practice by themselves.  Sit down with them and if you don't know how to play at all, have your student teach you!  It is a great way for them to learn.  Have them teach you how to play their song!

So here is my final word:

PIANO.  Start early.  Practice often, if not much, and become a better singer.  Watch your child's potential (or "talent") soar.